One healthy component to a healthy mind is laughter. If we never laugh, then we aren’t healthy. If we’re laughing all the time, we’re probably sick! But a life without laughter, without joy, isn’t what God intends. Even in tough times.
Mining for laughter gold
We should actively mine for a laugh as if it were gold. I spent time today searching for jokes on the Internet that made me laugh. When I searched, I stayed straight-faced through about four out of five jokes. If you’re like me, out of these handful of jokes, maybe you’ll find one or two that’ll make your day. I’ve sourced the jokes with links to their origins.
Granny’s peanuts–don’t choke!
- An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day. First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: “Please granny, don’t bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.” The granny answers: “You know, I don’t have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them.”
A few of my favorites short jokes
- A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “Breathe, man! Breathe!”
- I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
- An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?” – The friend replies “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
- Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?“
- Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
- I used to be addicted to not showering. Luckily, I’ve been clean for five years.
- Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
Jokes Especially for Foodies
- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
- Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food.
- What did one toilet say to the other? You look flushed.
- A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”